It starts with communication - dialog - conversation - body language. 
A reflection of one's soul, longing for connection but how? 
Maybe the question isn’t how.. but who.  

I don’t know about you - but for me I find myself thinking and drifting in and out of life’s deep, dark, questions of humanity. It doesn’t help with media blasting which political party is ‘correct’ or has the solution for the truth of humanity. If I incline my ear and tune my attention towards the things of this world, I find myself feeling suffocated.


Sometimes I allow my life to return to a black and white movie - dull, lacking color, and mundane. This life of mine becomes repetitive as the days count to weeks often feeling lethargic, and slowly I feel the pain radiate throughout my body with the diagnose of ‘bitterness’. My heart of flesh is slowly hardening into stone…

How do I escape? When does this movie end - where is the color?

The colors sing with the melody of life and suddenly I see, our eyes lock and I feel the pain leaving and purpose returning with the whisper of relationship. I am called into a relationship with the divine artist - and when I find my life with the giver of life my world becomes full of color. This melody of life has a name in which every knee shall bow, and every tongue declares that He is Lord - Jesus. I wanted to share song lyrics with you - that helped me write this piece.

“This is my awakening
I'm never going back to sleep
How could I after what I've seen
This is my awakening
There's color now in everything
Color now in everything” -Amanda Cook

6 hours

Running on zero sleeping - pushing to the point of exhaustion - is where breakthrough happens. 

3 am the alarm goes off, my eyes already laid awake. With bags packed we headed to the boat dock the cutest tug boat awaited our journey. We drifted in the depth of the night with a handheld light to lead us. Hammocks hung as we drifted in and out of sleep - the sun started to rise and I jumped to my feet to watch the morning unfold “into the unknown we go.” My eyes lit up with the scenery set before me as if I was a child again. Truly I am dreaming.


After 6 hours we arrived at the community of Camaianim. Bright colored house lined each side of the river with the houses built on stilts, the only walkway is between the houses made out of worn out wood. In other words very dangerous, for all. When we arrived we were grumpy, tried, and hungry. Isabela headed to hear if we could go to the school and film a few interviews. With sudden notice, we had to pack our things and take the school boat and prepare for the whole day to film. In my flesh, I was grumpy, tired, and hungry but in my spirit I knew this is why we came, to bring justice with the tool of communication. Batteries packed, camera around our necks we walked on the narrow path to film Jadilene going to school. In a flash of a moment the floor broke beneath my feet with camera in hand I reached up to save my camera. Praise the Lord myself, and the camera was fine. As I was lifted out my whole body was shaking with adrenaline.


As the boat arrived we headed towards the school which happened be an hour commute, looking around we noticed the boat had zero life jackets and the boy operating the boat looked to be 17 years of age. When we arrived the principal of the school approved of us interviewing a few of the teachers, we ended up having 3 interviews in the amount of 3-4 hours. As the school bell rang to end the school day we were relieved. Looking back I’m shocked we were able to accomplish this task, I now can see it was the Lord's strength holding Isabela, Thiago, and myself.


The story I shared is just one of the examples we’ve had in the river communities, facing the completion of this project has come with many struggles and challenges. I know me coming to Brazil is waging war in the supernatural - the work of justice will always be a fight and something to not take lightly. During the struggles God has proven himself as the protector over and over again.

I feel your prayers my family and friends, and I’m forever grateful for you waging war with me. Our lives are not our own, we were bought with a price I’m forever grateful for the hope and grace we have in Jesus. My eyes have seen the amounts of suffering people have to face here in the North, it troubles me to the point I can’t look away more.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” - Matthew 25:40 

Testimony Time: On our way back from the river community the boat started to have battery issues, in this small time frame we saw pink dolphins from the distance. I was so grateful and earlier I called out “today we are going to see pink dolphins.” Lord, you are so good to me!


Dearly beloved, incline your ear to me.
I know you feel alone, I know you feel weak. 
Just take a moment to breathe… 
Inhale a name for me, 
Exhale what you need from me. 
Abba, hold me.
Abba, restore me. 
Abba, fill me. 
Moment by moment I see you. 
Do you trust me?
I call you my chosen, 
You are my dance of divine.
Forever I will choose you. 
Forever you will be my beloved.                     

I hear him call me, the beloved. Am I willing to accept the invitation as a guest or.. the lovely bride. As I look down at my ring I’ve realized all along I’ve been “the beloved’s, beloved.” Do you know that you are the Lord’s beloved? the very word beloved comes from the Greek word “agapetos”. Agapetos is used to describe a very special relationship between each other and often would refer to an only child connecting with his parents. Abba longs for deep connection with his children, this is how Abba Father feels when he looks into the eyes of His son, Jesus. Not only with Jesus but you and I., He wants to connect with us, not only connect but go deep. I’ve been wearing my promise ring that I bought in old town, Jerusalem (for about a year now) - and written in Hebrew is the verse in song of songs “I am my beloveds, and my beloveds is mine.” Every day is a reminder of who I belong too, who I connect with, and who I love.