Weightless

Words - thoughts - and ideas come into my head, and often I write the revelation down. This blog post is one the holy spirit has been hinting to me at. The process came when I dove into the water casting my work week aside to be refreshed. As I dive down I hear the Father speak this phrase to me, weightless - this is who you are. As I get this thought in my head I feel the connection. I was created to be weightless due to the cost Christ paid for. Which results in His endless grace He has for us. The burdens I've placed upon myself end up ripping Jesus from His full reward. When I allow God to fully take captive of my life, I allow the Holy Spirit to move in my life. 

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What causes weight in my life? As I ponder a daily (reality) struggle of mine is fighting insecurity. This territory is a real issue fighting off the thoughts of others and myself. When I dwell in this state of mind I allow fiery darts of the enemy, feeding me lie after lie. Festering on this issue of insecurity builds up a false identity towards myself. Leaving me isolated concerning my emotions and resulting in self-condemnation. I often try to live up to the success of my good deeds without realizing it. Leaving my faith to be religious, dry, and dull. 

Where are the lies coming from and where is this root issue. To my discovery, I've let my worldview dictate my worth, value, and beauty. From the outside looking in I don't have everything together, most of the time I create a 'perfect' reality in my head. Filled with endless questions of 'IF I' 

"If I get the perfect job, I'll be successful."

"If I move to another state, I can move towards my goals."

"If I go out on the missions field, then God can use me."
 

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This state of mind is a turning hamster wheel, meaning there's no end to the possibilities. Getting stuck in this momentum is toxic, and hazardous to one's soul. At the end of the day, you and I were created to be weightless. The Father is wanting us to inhale courage, passion, and dreams. In exchange for exhaling fear, self-hatred, and doubt. To trade our yoke for his which easy and light. I find it best when I cast all my trouble upon the Lord I am weightless. I am weightless because Christ has paid the ultimate price.

Compassion

1: A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.  2: A feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, or in trouble. 

Compassion is the word the Lord has given me for 2016. Is it crazy that I can already see the effect this word has for me. As many of you know I currently nanny for 2 wonderful families. Now as of last month (December) I picked up another family to care for, let me tell you God's timing for this was perfect. During the last week of November I was looking for more work, acting upon it I updated my care.com profile. Within only 48 hours I received a message from Jaime seeking part time help! 

Yes we serve a amazing and f a i t h f u l God. Taking care of his kiddos like a good father.

Jaime + Aaron have 4 children. Zeke (five and a half) Quinn (Three) Zoey (One and a half) and Arie the newest addition. Each family is special to me, all with different mannerisms and personalities. Now to tie in the word compassion, both Aaron + Jaime have Lymes disease, its an illness that causes severe fatigue and most days the parents are lacking in energy and sleep. On top of the Lymes, Aaron also has a rare blood disease where his blood is filled with metal. My heart aches for this family and I truly see where I'm needed, to love on the children, care for them, and build relationships. Also to be a big help to the parents yet make a spiritual impact while serving them all. Join me to pray for this family, for God's love to break any physical + spiritual attacks against this family.  

 Disciple: Encourage and let God be the center of all things through the good, bad, and ugly. I constantly find myself interceding for this family. Praying for a miracle and healing to happen. My compassion is towards them, and towards showing them God's heart through me.

My passion is to feel the Father's heart. What's on God's heart? You and I of course! His love for each living soul is abundant. When I spend less time on me, and more time on others I feel Jesus, and I get a small glimpse of heaven and am reminded why I'm here on earth. I am to be a part of the great commission and for God's love to spread to the very ends of the earth. 

And surely I am with you always; to the very end of the age.
— Matthew 28:20


Home

Oh holy spirit come like a fire, all consuming, consume me
— Hillsong

Coming back to America, coming back to home has been h a r d. The hardest transition in my life. I see there's more to life then just the next best trend or the hottest juiciest gossip.I know the meaning of life and have seen it first hand. I'm called to love, to take up my cross. To minister to help the sick and befriend the needy. To be a better person than who I was yesterday. This challenge is something I must take up. I must take up my cross every day.  

I may be cursed at, looked down upon, and hated by many. 

But at the end of the day.. I know my maker. I hear his voice when he calls. Other times I search for him. I cry out for him and long to be near him. When I most know God is when I'm most in love with Him. When I drop everything to involve him.

It is times that I cannot hear him is when I grow. In trusting that He will provide for me and that he has a g l o r i o u s plan for my life. That plan started  23 years ago. I don't believe in a plan A, B, C. I believe God will always have plan A for my life. I'm the one that may take the looong way and from my mistakes God redirects me back on track. This journey I have embarked on just started. God has been using me in way I wouldn't of done before I left. Here's how.

T H A N K S G I V I N G

Give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever
— Psalm 136

Can you believe that the Holiday's are here.. again! Thanksgiving a time with family and yes loads of food. This year is a new year filled with new traditions. On the 20th we celebrated Thanksgiving with my moms side of the family. My aunt Debbie does a wonderful job hosting. Each of the kiddos were asked to prepare something festive. I was given the topic of the Holy Spirit. Now the fun starts.

Homemade pumpkin pie. Made by yours truly. 

Back in lecture phase when I was at the University of the Nations. This first week was on the topic of "Hearing God's Voice" (look back from my blogs in April). I was taught a 'game' I guess you'd call it. You confess any sin you haven't dealt with, slience the enemy, and trust God will speak to you. Because He does

About an hour before the party. Planning and praying about the how the night would go. I felt a heavy pain in my chest and a feeling of d o u b t came to mind. "This will be stupid, what if God doesn't speak, your family won't be interested". Complete lies from the enemy. I prayed and the pain left me. Let me tell you there is so much power in the name of J E S U S. Satan had other plans for the night because he knew something good was to come. 

After dinner we gathered for a time of fellowship. After reading a few verses about the Holy Spirit I taught the game to my family. After passing out pens and paper, I lead them into a time of prayer and allowed God to speak. I took my cousins hat and placed all the pieces of paper in the hat and had each person draw. That night God spoke to each person in the room. Break through happened and walls that were up c r u m b l e d down. AS a family we prayed over one another. We were real with one another. Raw moments. All because I obeyed God.

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I have a purpose back home even if its to impact one person. Hands down the best Thanksgiving I've had. From this act of obedience it changed the atmosphere. "We create a reality around us, according to the reality within us". The stuff I learned in lecture phase is applying to my life.. YES!

From this outcome changed my own immediate family and we had a wonderful turkey day. Spent down at the lake house. Are you willing to listen and obey the Lord when He speaks and calls? Let me tell you its so rewarding. When I step out of my comfort zone is where Jesus meets me.

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