Beloved

Dearly beloved, incline your ear to me.
I know you feel alone, I know you feel weak. 
Just take a moment to breathe… 
Inhale a name for me, 
Exhale what you need from me. 
Abba, hold me.
Abba, restore me. 
Abba, fill me. 
Moment by moment I see you. 
Do you trust me?
I call you my chosen, 
You are my dance of divine.
Forever I will choose you. 
Forever you will be my beloved.                     
 
aloha.JPG

I hear him call me, the beloved. Am I willing to accept the invitation as a guest or.. the lovely bride. As I look down at my ring I’ve realized all along I’ve been “the beloved’s, beloved.” Do you know that you are the Lord’s beloved? the very word beloved comes from the Greek word “agapetos”. Agapetos is used to describe a very special relationship between each other and often would refer to an only child connecting with his parents. Abba longs for deep connection with his children, this is how Abba Father feels when he looks into the eyes of His son, Jesus. Not only with Jesus but you and I., He wants to connect with us, not only connect but go deep. I’ve been wearing my promise ring that I bought in old town, Jerusalem (for about a year now) - and written in Hebrew is the verse in song of songs “I am my beloveds, and my beloveds is mine.” Every day is a reminder of who I belong too, who I connect with, and who I love.

Made new

Exactly one year ago my journey with exploring God's heart began. Saying my goodbyes and stepping onto the United flight to Kona, Hawaii has been the best decision, I've ever made. Honestly a huge thank you to my girl Morgan Wright for saying yes to God, the countability of our friendship, and for making the journey with me.

It’s always like springtime with you, making all things new
— Matt Stinton

Reflecting on the person I was a year ago... is a night and day difference. 

God fully restored my old 'dead' life into a new creation, a new me. I had to up-wrap the insecurities I put on myself. I put up walls between Jesus and I. From hurt's and wrong I didn't even know affected me, and affected my walk. Breaking walls down and letting God heal my hurts gave me f r e e d o m. "I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God". This song became my anthem during DTS. 

YWAM Kona was my next stop to complete a discipleship training school (DTS). "To know God, and to make Him known". From my experience saying yes to God has been so rewarding. Laying down 6 months of my life to ministry has changed the course and direction of my life.

Knowing about God is one thing...but drawing close to His heart is another. I can write for years about my experience and how God was in work for the past 6 months and now! I filled out a brand new journal front + back of all the promises of God. I'm now on a new journal symbolizing all the new things God has done and is doing here in my hometown. #comeon

To you dreamers don't give up. Pursue the calling on your life. For me stepping out of my comfort of home has been the best decision. When God opens doors its a direct access of the Father, and his will for your life. "His will, His bill". I encourage you to say yes to him. It may change the way you look at life, people, and so much more and maybe just maybe you could be a planet shaker, nation wrecker for Jesus. It all starts by saying yes. 

Compassion

1: A feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.  2: A feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, or in trouble. 

Compassion is the word the Lord has given me for 2016. Is it crazy that I can already see the effect this word has for me. As many of you know I currently nanny for 2 wonderful families. Now as of last month (December) I picked up another family to care for, let me tell you God's timing for this was perfect. During the last week of November I was looking for more work, acting upon it I updated my care.com profile. Within only 48 hours I received a message from Jaime seeking part time help! 

Yes we serve a amazing and f a i t h f u l God. Taking care of his kiddos like a good father.

Jaime + Aaron have 4 children. Zeke (five and a half) Quinn (Three) Zoey (One and a half) and Arie the newest addition. Each family is special to me, all with different mannerisms and personalities. Now to tie in the word compassion, both Aaron + Jaime have Lymes disease, its an illness that causes severe fatigue and most days the parents are lacking in energy and sleep. On top of the Lymes, Aaron also has a rare blood disease where his blood is filled with metal. My heart aches for this family and I truly see where I'm needed, to love on the children, care for them, and build relationships. Also to be a big help to the parents yet make a spiritual impact while serving them all. Join me to pray for this family, for God's love to break any physical + spiritual attacks against this family.  

 Disciple: Encourage and let God be the center of all things through the good, bad, and ugly. I constantly find myself interceding for this family. Praying for a miracle and healing to happen. My compassion is towards them, and towards showing them God's heart through me.

My passion is to feel the Father's heart. What's on God's heart? You and I of course! His love for each living soul is abundant. When I spend less time on me, and more time on others I feel Jesus, and I get a small glimpse of heaven and am reminded why I'm here on earth. I am to be a part of the great commission and for God's love to spread to the very ends of the earth. 

And surely I am with you always; to the very end of the age.
— Matthew 28:20


Home

Oh holy spirit come like a fire, all consuming, consume me
— Hillsong

Coming back to America, coming back to home has been h a r d. The hardest transition in my life. I see there's more to life then just the next best trend or the hottest juiciest gossip.I know the meaning of life and have seen it first hand. I'm called to love, to take up my cross. To minister to help the sick and befriend the needy. To be a better person than who I was yesterday. This challenge is something I must take up. I must take up my cross every day.  

I may be cursed at, looked down upon, and hated by many. 

But at the end of the day.. I know my maker. I hear his voice when he calls. Other times I search for him. I cry out for him and long to be near him. When I most know God is when I'm most in love with Him. When I drop everything to involve him.

It is times that I cannot hear him is when I grow. In trusting that He will provide for me and that he has a g l o r i o u s plan for my life. That plan started  23 years ago. I don't believe in a plan A, B, C. I believe God will always have plan A for my life. I'm the one that may take the looong way and from my mistakes God redirects me back on track. This journey I have embarked on just started. God has been using me in way I wouldn't of done before I left. Here's how.

T H A N K S G I V I N G

Give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever
— Psalm 136

Can you believe that the Holiday's are here.. again! Thanksgiving a time with family and yes loads of food. This year is a new year filled with new traditions. On the 20th we celebrated Thanksgiving with my moms side of the family. My aunt Debbie does a wonderful job hosting. Each of the kiddos were asked to prepare something festive. I was given the topic of the Holy Spirit. Now the fun starts.

Homemade pumpkin pie. Made by yours truly. 

Back in lecture phase when I was at the University of the Nations. This first week was on the topic of "Hearing God's Voice" (look back from my blogs in April). I was taught a 'game' I guess you'd call it. You confess any sin you haven't dealt with, slience the enemy, and trust God will speak to you. Because He does

About an hour before the party. Planning and praying about the how the night would go. I felt a heavy pain in my chest and a feeling of d o u b t came to mind. "This will be stupid, what if God doesn't speak, your family won't be interested". Complete lies from the enemy. I prayed and the pain left me. Let me tell you there is so much power in the name of J E S U S. Satan had other plans for the night because he knew something good was to come. 

After dinner we gathered for a time of fellowship. After reading a few verses about the Holy Spirit I taught the game to my family. After passing out pens and paper, I lead them into a time of prayer and allowed God to speak. I took my cousins hat and placed all the pieces of paper in the hat and had each person draw. That night God spoke to each person in the room. Break through happened and walls that were up c r u m b l e d down. AS a family we prayed over one another. We were real with one another. Raw moments. All because I obeyed God.

Photos on top of photos.

I have a purpose back home even if its to impact one person. Hands down the best Thanksgiving I've had. From this act of obedience it changed the atmosphere. "We create a reality around us, according to the reality within us". The stuff I learned in lecture phase is applying to my life.. YES!

From this outcome changed my own immediate family and we had a wonderful turkey day. Spent down at the lake house. Are you willing to listen and obey the Lord when He speaks and calls? Let me tell you its so rewarding. When I step out of my comfort zone is where Jesus meets me.

F a c e | to | F a c e

Moju Morin (July 24th- 27th)

“Put on the full armor of God” -Ephesians 6:11

The white VW passenger bus pulls up and the adventure continues. Loaded both cars and off we went on a two hour drive to the village of Moju Mirin. This short trip was a challenge for all. We stayed in the communities local school which was all closed in (bathroom, kitchen, and shower). After talking to a few locals to figure out the dynamics of the village. We discovered that we (my team and I) were the first white foreigners in that village.

The VW wagons are a popular car in Brazil. Just last year (2014) the company stopped making the vans. 

Before arriving my school leaders (Philip and Lily Lin) flew into to see us. To have a one on one with each of us. The morning before arriving in the village we gather and prayed before heading out. The Lord highlighted some words, and visions. Each one with a different purpose and meaning, H O L Y|S P I R I T    The color orange, a word ‘rider’, turkeys, vision of a young man, and for me a vision of me telling the gospel to a house full of people! 

Day 1: A team of dental hygienist came and cleaned teeth at no charge. This gave wonderful opportunities for us. To build relationships and share the gospel. While the adults went first for the teeth cleaning the kids needed to be entertained. BB tash, Joy, and myself taught games and bible stories to the kiddos. While playing sheep, sheep, Shepard (duck, duck, goose) half the group of kids ran down to the swimming hole stripped down and jumped in! Following after joy and myself lived in the moment and joined. Fully clothed. Splashing around a girl by the name of Carol  l o v e d  me. How I miss the joys of being a kid..with no worries. Carol and I shared something special this little girl captured my heart from sharing laughs and giggles, to embracing each with many hugs, to exchanged a few words in Portuguese. Thank you Carol for reminding me to have a child like mind set when loving others. 

Day 2: Home visits. From house to house we would share the gospel and would offer prayer to people. Each household we visited loved to talk and visit with us, coffee was offered along with greetings of hugs and kisses. We ended the night with a giant christian dance party ‘giant meaning Tash, Eline, and I’. If only we knew 3 hours later half the team got the flu virus. From the stories I heard violently sick. (Praise God I slept through it) 

Day 3: Just like that h a l f of team brazil was sick and ended up leaving the next morning to return back to base. Plans changed all the time in brazil. At first Eline wanted everyone to return home, but God had other plans. Now the Holy Spirit came into this village. Breaking into smaller groups for house visiting I was the only green-go (white person) along with 3 other Brazilians. Now the fun stuff. My vision came true. Each house we attend I shared the gospel. The last home I attend hit the ‘home run’. Walking up to this house I felt something different a good different. As we entered the home we started to chat. The father of the household knew Jesus, but was thirsty for more. In this moment I shared my testimony and a man whom was handicapped started to cry. I asked if anyone wanted pray and this man looked me in the eyes and nodded. He wanted prayer to press on, to be strengthen so he could impact and strengthen others. After ending the prayer I felt the presence of God and the room felt lighter and brighter. 

Here's the photo of the family I had a vision of! How exciting to talk things of the Lord, and agreeing and releasing of prayer. The Kid in the Kiss shirt later came to talk to us on how to get involved in YWAM. 

Thinking to myself..wow this is what life is about. No mater what age, color, status, or language. At the end of the day we have the same wants/needs. To be loved, and that love come from Jesus. We as Christians carry his love, and carry that love to others. That my friends is called revival.  Walking home before 6 o clock (that’s when the snakes would come out) I had a HUGE smile on my face.The next morning we packed our things and heading back into the VW bus and returned back to base. I did it, I conquered the challenge and God showed up in a radical way. When you commit and say “Jesus here I am, send me” He does. It’s a dangerous prayer but that’s when heaven kisses earth. Amen?!